Confessions of a Dangerous Vegetable

My Jeopardy! Story Ends.

2005-09-23T21:13:00.000-05:00

The categories for the second game were, if possible, the absolute worst I’ve seen on Jeopardy in my life. I won't rehash the game (you can see the archive version for details). The first round is a blur, other than the missteps. "Into the Valley of Death rode the 400"? Dumb dumb dumb. Deborah caught a break when the judges realized that Kievan Rus encompassed more than just Ukraine (but also Belarus and parts of Russia, which was her answer). I was pround of getting two (count 'em!) of the Johnny Unitas answers right.

During the break, we decided to add my fortune cookie story, and that’s what Alex picked for the interview topic. I was glad…I think it went well. I still had the fortune on the podium with me!

So now I was in third (after the reversal of Kievan Rus for Deborah) and got to choose first. The one gleam of light was that there was a “Steve Martin Film Festival” category. I could use that to get back in the game. Sure enough, I even found the Daily Double in that category. I was now in first place, but it remained a very close game at this point, and for some reason, despite the fact that it was MY category, and hidden behind the $1200 amount, I went temporarily insane and only bet $1400. I SHOULD have made it a true Daily Double. I recognized the quote immediately (“What is ‘Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid’?”) and started kicking myself.

Then there was the “Flowers” category. All pictures, small text clues. The one I remember had to do with a purple flower, and the clue was that it was named for the last hours of Christ on Earth. After a short pause following Deborah's incorrect response of "What is a Crown of Thorns?", I decided to give it a shot, and asked “What is purple passion?” Alex told me I was wrong, and that it was “passion flower.” I let it go, but it irked me.

At the end of the Double Jeopardy round, I was in third place, but I seem to recall it being a pretty close game [Note: Deborah had $7700, and Chris had $9800). I knew my best chance was to bet it all, so I entered my wager ($5799) and waited to answer the clue in the category of “Famous Paintings.” Sitting there waiting for the commercial break to be over, I went over all the paintings I knew, but something in my gut said that the answer was going to be Guernica. I don’t know why, but I was so SURE! The clue was finally revealed: “This painting was commissioned for the Spanish Pavilion for the 1937 World’s Fair held in Paris.” I was almost done writing before Alex finished reading the clue. Premonitions are amazing, aren’t they?

Alex started with me, and said that my answer of “What is Guernica?” was right. I moved into first place, with Deborah and Chris still to go. I prayed that they missed it. Deborah, though, disappointed me (!) by getting it right, and moving into the lead. Oh, well, I thought…at least I won one game! Chris, in the lead, had answered “What is the Raft of the Medusa?” and bet a ton. So Deborah got our congratulations, and the blur started again. I went back to the Green Room with Chris and Deborah, giving her a big hug. We’d made the best out of some of the worst categories ever!

I grabbed my clothes and joined Uly and David in the audience for the last game, Deborah as returning champ against Heather and (IIRC) Andrew. Intense game, and Deborah pulled it out in the end. Details have completely been shut out of my mind….

Mostly, those details are gone because I kept thinking about the Kievan Rus question, and the Purple Passion question. I was disturbed by them. We headed back to the hotel, and I found Victoria and her sister in the lobby playing cribbage. We moved into the bar (I REALLY needed a drink!), along with Sharon (from the day before), and Chris and David…it turned into quite a party. Stacey showed up with her sister Lisa, and John, too…We watched David win again on TV, and then I headed to the airport to catch my flight. Too short, too short. I wish I had another night there!

So that’s my story. I’m planning on paying close attention to the second game to see if I have anything to protest about. I know that the Kievan Rus question is probably a lost cause (it’s really going to depend on the wording of the clue), but I know that I was right about Purple Passion (and have the research to back it up). The question is, would it have mattered? Would that have given me enough money to go into FJ in second place, ahead of Deborah? I really can’t remember…but if it was, I’ll send them a letter to request a ruling. [Note: It did matter, and I will be sending in an appeal. At first, I thought doing so would be insulting Deborah a little...but then I realized that they wouldn't take her winnings away, no matter how long she's on, and it's not that I think she didn't deserve to win, but that IMO the judges made a small error. Given that Deborah had to evacuate with her family from New Orleans just before Hurricane Katrina, and ended up temporarily moving to Houston, which (as of this writing) she was leaving to head north to Austin before the arrival of Hurricane Rita, the poor woman's been through enough without adding my shit to the pile. Deborah, believe me, this isn't in any way a reflection on you or your game play...you will ALWAYS be a champion!]

Even if I lose all my appeals (if I even make any), I can’t describe the experience in good enough terms. I had a fantastic time, and walked away with almost $33,000 for one hour’s “work”. There’s my story….I still have no idea how the fuck I got there, but I can’t complain about anything else!

And finally, I'd like to send out a HUGE "Thank You" to EVERYONE who has helped me prepare and sent me the most positive vibage possible. You people all rule!

-30- (Damn you Deborah for getting this one, too! :-) )

Tonight's chapter

2005-09-22T20:06:00.000-05:00

Tonight's chapter in my J! story will be delayed until tomorrow.

Not feeling well, and just can't work on it tonight.

Jeopardy Taping Day 2 Part 2

2005-09-21T21:24:00.000-05:00

WARNING! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!

Victoria’s second game was against Ray and Stacey. I was really rooting hard for Stacey, simply because she was a fellow holdover, and one of the nicest people on the planet. The game was tough, and it came down to Final Jeopardy…Which was only answered right by one person: Ray.

During the break, Glenn came over to the group of us waiting to see who would go next, and announced that Carol and I would get to face Ray in the next game. Remember when I said that I had lost my nervousness? Well….so much for calm. My heart started to race, and I jumped up and headed to the Green Room to get my jacket and have my makeup touched up.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned before that Sandy, the makeup artist, is truly that…an artist. Of course, she had to work overtime on me (after doing Chris that morning, she said to him, “You have such nice skin, you’re going to look GREAT up there!”…the first thing she said to me was, “OK, first I’ll get rid of the red spots, then the dark circles, then…”), but she did a great job, and was (like all the other staff) wonderful and calming.

After the touch up, we got the mics put on, and headed to the stage. I had drawn position 2, which meant I’d have Carol on my left, and Ray on my right. A few tests of the sound and buzzers, a minute to put my name on the telewriter, and Johnny Gilbert started the intro. I stared nervously at camera 2 as he announced that one of the contestants was “An air quality consultant from Bridgewater, NJ, Mike Leger!” What a rush!

Frankly, I don’t remember too much of the game. I do remember that not many of the categories in the first round were to my liking, but I think I did OK on them anyway. The interview section was uneventful. They’d chosen one of the weaker stories, in my opinion: I had a girlfriend in high school who said she’d ride the Tunnel of Love with me if I went on a rollercoaster with her. I’m terrified of heights, but this event made me a coaster fanatic. Unfortunately, I left out one thing: This happened when I was 15. I hope it doesn’t come off like current events when it airs!

[The following paragraph was added on Sept. 21, after watching my game on TV.]

Watching the game now (and here's the J! archive version), I'd like to point out that Carol was a lot tougher than I remembered. She was very quick on the buzzer when she wanted to be...and frustrated me on a couple of fronts. For instance, my worst subject is typically sports trivia. While I enjoy watching baseball and football, especially, the trivial stuff just doesn't stick. However, in the category "World Series," I actually knew 4 of the 5 answers...but Carol beat me to the buzzer. Same deal with "Shakespeare's Women"...I just couldn't buzz in fast enough. The icing on the cake was that Carol got "Field of Dreams"...one of my favorite movies. Had Carol been less conservative in her wagering, she'd probably have beaten me...

The Final Jeopardy category pleased me...I think Literature is one of my stronger subjects. I got a little flustered upon seeing the clue, though (you can read the clue in the archive). My first thought was to answer "Who is John Grisham?" but that just didn't seem right. Then about halfway through the theme music, I zeroed in on the word "county" in the clue. Why was it there, except to lead me to the right answer of Faulkner? Think Southern writers and fictional counties, and Faulkner should be the first thing that comes to mind, right? I scribbled down "Who is Faulkner?" just in time, and waited. When Alex started off by mentioning that the county became the basis for a famous fictional county, I closed my eyes for a couple of long seconds, thanking God for his help...I knew then I had won.

During the second round, I picked up, and at the end of that round, I looked up and saw that I had $16,400, and Carol had $15, 400...a slim $1000 lead. I’m not sure exactly how much Ray had, but he was in third, and I had to worry about Carol. I had to bet enough on the category (“Famous Writers”) to ensure a win if both of us got it right. My hand was literally shaking like a leaf as I entered $14,401 on the telewriter for my bet.

The Final Jeopardy category pleased me...I think Literature is one of my stronger subjects. I got a little flustered upon seeing the clue, though (you can read the clue in the archive). My first thought was to answer "Who is John Grisham?" but that just didn't seem right. Then about halfway through the theme music, I zeroed in on the word "county" in the clue. Why was it there, except to lead me to the right answer of Faulkner? Think Southern writers and fictional counties, and Faulkner should be the first thing that comes to mind, right? I scribbled down "Who is Faulkner?" just in time, and waited. When Alex started off by mentioning that the county became the basis for a famous fictional county, I closed my eyes for a couple of long seconds, thanking God for his help...I knew then I had won.

When Alex read my answer and indicated that we’d all gotten it right, and then said that I had won $30,801, I came out of my shock to smile and pound the podium, shake Carol’s and Ray’s and Alex’s hands, then head out to the front of the stage for the lineup at the end of the show. Alex congratulated me again, and I told him that I had never written such a big number next to a dollar sign before (which, now that I think of it, isn’t exactly right!), and it was over. Maggie and Glenn congratulated me, and I got hustled back to the green room with the other contestants. It was time for the dreaded lunch break.

I couldn’t stop long enough for the idea to sink in. I had just won over $30,000 in 20 minutes! The feeling of a Dali painting came back…things were melting in front of my eyes. But the adrenaline was rushing, and I really wanted the feeling to continue. Unfortunately, the lunch break might put an end to that, but I was too happy to think about the negatives. We headed over to the commissary and I scarfed down some tough roast beef, tasteless rice, and a forkful of corn that had been cooking since Nixon was president. Then back over to the green room, changed my shirt (I went with the green shirt/green tie combo) and another rehearsal onstage. They had picked the next two competitors - Chris and Deborah. I was worried…both were very good in rehearsals, but there ya go.

And I'll discuss this game after it airs tomorrow night. :-)

Jeopardy Taping Day 2 Part 1

2005-09-20T15:49:00.000-05:00

This "chapter" is kinda short, sorry!

Thursday morning dawned…and I watched. I tend not to adjust to different time zones, since it screws me up when I get back to reality. What was surprising was that I seemed to have lost my nervousness overnight. I got up, made coffee, got a shower and dressed, and even went down for a bigger breakfast than I had had the day before.

Nearing 8 AM, I grabbed my extra clothes, and waited in the lobby. It was actually kind of amusing to see all the new contestants gathering, looking a little lost. I can only assume that I looked exactly the same way just 24 hours previously! I decided to break the ice, and start some conversations with the new folks. What’s amazing is that once again, the Jeopardy folks had managed to put together a group of immensely likeable people. I knew that I’d have to face at least one of them later in the day…but I was going to enjoy myself, no matter what.

The group: Steve the Sailor, originally from Maryland, but going to linguistics school in Monterrey. He looked about 10, but was actually 20, smart and funny. Carol, the quiet one, but again, smart and funny. Deborah, from New Orleans. I’m gonna get tired of saying “smart and funny,” so consider it stipulated, OK? Chris was from the Bronx (although he didn’t sound like it!), Heather was from Manahawkin, NJ (Jersey represented, yo), Ray was a retired ad exec from DC. Victoria, I learned, was from Atlanta, but her husband just got a job at Carnegie-Mellon University so they were in the midst of moving to Pittsburgh (woohoo!) . And Andrew, from Toronto. There were 2 local contestants, too, Kim and Phil.

The morning was much less stressful, and with my calm state, I can’t remember most of it. I felt like an old hand, and as much as I enjoyed Maggie’s spiel, I frankly can’t remember much of it. The rehearsals went smoothly, but I told myself not to let myself get psyched out by anyone. We were a good group, again, and everyone had a shot.

As usual, I sized up my potential competition...I immediately singled out Victoria, Steve and Deborah as the three I was looking forward to facing the least...although everyone was so good during rehearsals that I knew that, no matter what, I was going to have a tough time with these folks. Since Stacey and I had already been bumped once, we were almost assured of playing before the day was over...and while I felt a little nervousness, I knew, mainly because of that damn fortune cookie, that I'd do well...I hoped!

The first players called to face David were Victoria and Steve. They got ready, and their game was just as exciting (if not more so, given the result) as the first game on Wednesday’s taping. In fact, it's one of the most exciting games in recent memory...three excellent players, slugging it out. But...miracle of miracles….Victoria took David DOWN! She ended up with about $22,000, if I remember right, but still…I WOULDN’T HAVE TO FACE THE MADDENATOR! As much as I liked David, I was glad to see him gone. Then again, did I want to face Victoria? Well....no. Although I do admit that my first thought was that, having just knocked off a long-term champ, if she was going to lose any time soon, it would probably be in the next game. So part of me DID want to play the next one.

Alas, that wasn't in the cards, either. The next two people out of the gate were Ray and Stacey. There will be more on this game tomorrow...I don't want to post any spoilers, and the Victoria/Ray/Stacey game shows tonight, so watch and enjoy, everyone...and I'll have more tomorrow!

My Hometown Howdy

2005-09-19T19:50:00.000-05:00

I've been avoiding posting this link...it's my Hometown Howdy on the J! site, in Windows Media Player format.

I haven't even looked at it myself...too nervous.

Jeopardy Taping Day 1

2005-09-19T19:22:00.000-05:00

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. I got to Los Angeles on Tuesday afternoon, amazingly enough, early. Just about half an hour early, but early nonetheless. Unfortunately, I also arrived with a little heartburn, which I chalked up to the awful boxed lunch I had on the flight. It passed.

More mundane stuff happened…I took the shuttle to the hotel and checked in, rested for a bit, made a few phone calls, yada yada yada. And then Uly picked me up and we shot down the 405 (in the HOV lane…what a timesaver!) to Long Beach.

I had played NTN at Shannon’s in Long Beach before (I had a couple of interviews in the LA area several months ago), so I knew not to expect too much in terms of décor. The people, though, were great, and much to the chagrin of my regular teammates back in New Brunswick, we came in third in the country on the big game (“Showdown”) of the night. The last question was in the category “Named After” - it asked about a 15th Century structure named after a pope. I precalled the Sistine Chapel before the answers came up…Having read “The Agony and the Ecstasy” a few times, it wasn’t hard.

Following a couple of other games, and a quick (but very tasty) dinner of Thai food, Uly dropped me off at the hotel so I could try to get some sleep. Which is about all I got…I sleep poorly in hotel beds, and this was no exception. The three martinis I’d slugged down over the course of the evening didn’t even help. But I managed to grab a few hours rest, waking at my usual time of 6:30. Unfortunately, it was 6:30 Eastern time -- 3:30 local time…but I can’t complain…I felt rested enough, so I didn’t want to worry about it.

When it really was closer to a reasonable hour for breakfast, I headed down for coffee and a piece of toast. Not much of an appetite, either. Hmmm….could the nerves I swore I wasn’t going to let get to me actually be getting to me?

The shuttle to the studio left at 8 AM. I grabbed an elevator at 7:45 (being habitually early for almost everything). The doors of the elevator opened, and I found myself staring at…..David Madden. Mr. 14-Game-Streak-And-Obviously-Not-in-Germany-Anymore-But-Still-Going-Strong himself. I had prepared myself for the possibility that I might have to play David. I’d mentally psyched him out in my imagination, and was prepared to not let him get to me. I probably was short and rude to him, even, before the shuttle. And then everyone else showed up. And instantly, the shuttle bus full of folks with a common purpose became a cool place to be.

There was Michael Shirts, whom I had seen at breakfast earlier, but only suspected was going to be a fellow contestant. Stacy Swann, cute, perky, funny, and sweet. Sharon Rupe, redheaded, funny, and sassy. Matthew Luter, who looks like my imagination’s version of Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter books (not the movie version…but the red hair and all). Smart kid that Matthew. There was Martha McKinney, who I came to fear most after rehearsals (more on that later). John Shivers, a tall, shaved headed, quickwitted, guy who looks a lot younger than he is. Jennifer Buermann, who was a real hoot. Catie Camille, another cute, perky and funny young lady. Janet Kaufman, who was quiet but funny when she did speak. And Willy Jay, young, kinda goofy looking (in a good way!), but (as usual) smart and funny. And Eric Rosen, ridiculously smart, funny...OK, this is getting ridiculous. I'm running out of descriptors!

The morning of the tape day is alternately boring and thrilling. Sure, there’s the paperwork, and some of the staff go over game play, rules, dos-and-don’ts, suggestions, etc. But then they get you onto the stage, give you a quick rundown of the mechanics of TV game show production (which camera to look in, how to enunciate, where the lights that mark when you can ring in are, stuff like that). And they mic you up and you rehearse for a while. Every few minutes they break into the rehearsal to swap in new players, so everyone has at least two shots at practicing on the buzzer, seeing where the clues pop up, (including video clues), things like that. They also let you know if you’re being loud enough, or talking too fast or slow, etc. The first time I got behind the podium, I could barely speak, let alone ring in. My knees were doing the Charleston (even though the rest of my body wasn’t dancing). It was a very surreal experience, and there still wasn’t an audience, or cameramen or Alex or Johnny….just Maggie (who may be the loudest person I’ve ever met in my life, but she made me smile just by walking in the room), and Ayesha (who had been a contestant herself, a few years ago, prior to joining the staff as a contestant coordinator), and Tony (who’s funnier than he should be, and maybe not as funny as he thinks he is…oh, hell, yes he is), and Bob (another very nice guy who always knew what to say and do). Glenn (who had called me to be on the show) played the part of Alex during rehearsals, and we all had a chance to kind of size each other up. There were a couple of people -- OK, more than a couple -- there I really didn’t want to face.

Naturally, I would have rather David had lost prior to my getting to LA. In rehearsal, though, he played differently than he did when it counts. He was more conventional (top to bottom, no skipping around), didn’t feel the need to ring in on every question…not wanting to give too much information away. Unfortunately, since we’d seen him play for a couple of weeks prior to getting out there, this wasn’t an effective technique!

I really hoped I wouldn’t have to face Martha. Not only was she smart as a whip, she was quick on the buzzer, and I knew she’d be tough to beat. John impressed me as well, but less so than he did later…more on that in a few.

I guess when you’re good at trivia, you start getting the impression that you’re a big fish in a relatively small pond. A lot of people no longer want to play Trivial Pursuit with you…you find that whenever someone needs an answer for something, you’re on their speed dial (“What’s the capital of Wyoming? My daughter needs to know…”). But once I hit the Green Room (which is spookily devoid of the color green), you realize that everyone else feels exactly the same way. They’re all as good (if not better) than you are…and they are your competition. So that cocky attitude gets jettisoned pretty quickly. As the morning went on, we became closer, joked around more, and (I hope) became friends. Which was also a problem because, as I said, this was my competition!

It was also surprising to hear other people say the same about me. Now, all they had to go on was the rehearsals, but more than one person (I’ll refrain from saying who) said they hoped I wasn’t playing when they were…kind of an ego boost…but I had to remember again not to let it go to my head.

I will say that they generally laughed at my jokes (and I hope I didn’t come off too annoying!), and I don’t think I managed to piss anyone off. So that was one mission accomplished.

Eventually, they picked the names of the people who would play the first game of the 22nd season. Naturally, David was playing (duh). The random selection for the fresh meat of the day was Willy and Catie. But looks can be deceiving…the game was not what I expected at all. Willy had a great game, and Catie, while she struggled, did very well also. David’s game showed small signs of wear and rust from disuse over the summer. As Double Jeopardy came to a close, David wasn’t leading….he trailed Willy by a little. Catie was a little further back. The Final Jeopardy question was in the category of “Broadway Musicals.” It was a song lyric ("No matter how hopeless, no matter how far, to fight for the right without question" is from this show) , and asked for the show. Alex had practically sung “The Impossible Dream” when reading the clue. Catie was right, but again, was trailing by a little too much. David missed it (I think he wrote “Camelot” instead of “Man of La Mancha”). But he didn’t have to bet much (that 2/3 rule is something, isn’t it?). Willy….

…missed it, too. I suppose David and Willy could be excused because they are so young, but since Catie was a youngster, too, that theory doesn’t fly on its own…David didn’t exactly coast to win 15, but he still won.

So the day progressed. Two more shows before lunch, neither of which figured yours truly), lots of questions (to the point where I can’t keep 90% of them straight, they all blend together). I seem to remember another close, exciting game for Wednesday’s game as well…I recall going to lunch and whispering to Stacy that, had I been in second place on two of the first three games, I’d have won them both. While David continued to win, the rest of us continued to kvetch. Who was the next victim going to be? Part of me prayed it would be me, part of me dreaded having to face David. Alas, I had little to worry about…

Lunch break…a bit of a misnomer. What I had wouldn’t be considered food, except in the most rudimentary sense of the word. I did have a “premonition” that I wouldn’t be taping on the first day. After all, I needed to be bumped, or else how could the fortune cookie come true?

At the end of the day, David was still winning (19 shows, $430,000 and some change), and Stacy and I hadn’t taped. Since I had booked the redeye on Thursday night back to Philly and home, it was not a problem to stick around for another day.

Following the 5th game, I was bushed. It had been a long day. I had been invited to a post-taping/Ellyn’s show viewing party at BobManyNumbers’ house in West L.A. I invited a couple of other contestants, but since they hadn’t had the day they wanted, they passed. David, though, accepted, and I’m glad he did. We were joined by Plasticene and his partner OperaSinger, and tshieh (whose wife couldn’t make it), Uly, and Bob’s wife Ms.63. After dinner, we watched that evening's episode, starring the guy sitting across the room from my at the time (it was interesting to watch his reactions to his own game!) and Ellyn Ritterskamp, who should have won, but didn’t.

We broke up early, and I headed back to the hotel to get some shuteye…I really needed it.

The start of Day 2 tomorrow...

My Backstory, Part IV

2005-09-17T13:21:00.000-05:00

After hanging up with Glenn, I sat at my desk for about 20 minutes, staring off into space, and the news sunk in. I was finally going to live one of the only fantasies I’ve ever had that didn’t include Annette Bening or Halle Berry! I was actually going to have a chance to prove to myself (and, to be brutally honest, to a few others) that I had the shit, I could do it.

And that’s when the doubt started. Holy shit. I’m going to be on fucking JEOPARDY! What if I make a complete fool of myself on TV? Everyone on the boards is so quick to congratulate, and so quick to say, “You’re going to be great!” but what the hell do they really know about me? I could easily fall on my ass. I could be like that guy in the old Far Side cartoon, playing Jeopardy! against God and Einstein, with no money on the board, and saying “Alex, I think there’s something wrong with my buzzer thing.” WHAT IF I FUCK IT ALL UP?

Eventually, the doubt subsided, at least enough to try to stand up. My knees seemed to have forgotten how to operate properly, but I drew a deep breath and stood up anyway. I made my way over to my boss’ office and closed the door. “Mike,” I said (as it’s his name, too), “I need to take a couple of days off next month.” After a few seconds, I told him why, thinking “he’s going to think I’m a complete dork” but he smiled and said, “That is so cool!”

A few days later, I let my NTN team in on the news. They were excited. I of course had already posted the good (?) news on the boards the day I got Glenn’s call. And then I started panicking again. Generally, they were the same panic attacks as had happened at my desk. I REALLY didn’t want to fuck it all up. I worried because the guy who has been on (and, for all I know, may still be going when I get to the studio tomorrow) has a tendency to steamroll his competition. He likes to jump around at the beginning of each round, in order to find the Daily Doubles (mostly to keep them from the competition later in the round). Personally, I hate his strategy, but it’s worked for him. It doesn’t hurt that he’s so fucking smart, either. And seems to have good buzzer skills.

I have no idea if he’s still the champ. I’m a little afraid to find out. And everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) has been giving me advice. Buzzer advice. Betting strategies. Study materials. You name it, someone’s brought it up. “You should study the presidents…they always come up.” Thanks! I’ve never noticed that before! “Don’t worry about it, just buzz in first, and be right all the time!” Gee, why didn’t I think of that strategy? “So, you have $3000 and the other guy has $5000. You hit a Daily Double. What do you bet?” Listen numbnuts, there are TWO other players. It also depends on what the category is, and which row on the board hid the Daily Double. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME RELAX ALREADY!

Yeah, I’ve wanted to snap at a few people, but I’ve been trying to keep my head, be cordial, and be thankful that people care enough to try to give me advice (although some of it’s been pretty putrid, frankly!). I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to wear. The contestant package had about 400 pages on dressing for the show. I finally decided to go with the suit (navy blue), and one of my non-white shirts. Ellyn and Dan both sent me excellent ties (I dunno if I’m going with either of them on the first show, but if I win that one, I may break them out). And, in honor of “The Manolo” I bought a new pair of black loafers (box weave uppers with tassels). So I think I’m OK in the wardrobe department.

Two days before leaving for this trip, I knew I had to have one last Chinese mean, just for the fortune cookie. I wasn’t disappointed: “Bide your time. Success is near.” I’m actually less worried having gotten that!

Which brings me up to the present. Seat 17D on Flight 21. Tonight’s assignment: NTN with Dan at his home bar (Shannon’s), and getting to bed early. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow!

My Backstory, Part III

2005-09-16T17:29:00.000-05:00

And then, I went home, figuring that I had a good time, didn’t make a complete ass of myself, and it didn’t really matter because, after all, they have probably a couple of thousand test-passers each year, and only (at most) 400 or so actual contestants. I’d sat through the year of eligibility without a phone call before, after all. So I’d call myself “cautiously optimistic, but not overly so.”

Then there were a number of things that happened, both in my life and on the show itself. First we got word that they were planning an “Ultimate Tournament of Champions” to make sure Ken Jennings got more airtime. Seventy-five games as champion wasn’t enough, I guess. But this thing was going to last a LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG time. A couple of months, from what we heard in the rumor mill. Then, another Millionaire Board Buddy got the call to be on (Bob ended up being a three-gamer, doing very well indeed)….he ended up book ending the UToC. And still a few weeks later, ANOTHER BB got called up to the majors. (Ellyn’s show(s) remain(s) unaired at the time of this writing.)

I got a job, finally, after two years of unemployment. I interviewed with a company in Branchburg, NJ on a Friday afternoon. I thought it went pretty well, but you can never tell - I’d thought the same after several other interviews as well. The following Monday, I was having Chinese food for dinner with my Dad, and when we finished, I looked at the two fortune cookies on the table. I picked up one and looked at it. Joking (as always), I dropped it and picked up the other. “I like the look of this one better.” I unwrapped it, broke it open, and read the fortune out loud: “What you have worked so hard for will soon come to pass.” I looked at Dad and said, “Maybe that company I interviewed with last week will call soon!” At that EXACT moment, the phone rang. Naturally, I thought it was my brother…he usually called about that time of day. But I said, “See? That’s them now!” Well….the cookie was right. It was indeed the company I had interviewed with the previous Friday, telling me an offer letter was in the mail.

So I moved to New Jersey. Bridgewater, to be exact. And I kept telling myself that I really should send a letter to Jeopardy! to tell them my new address and phone number. Of course, I didn’t actually believe that I’d get called, but I do know that Ellyn brought me up when she was called to tape, so if I was a borderline case, maybe that would bubble me up to the top of the list? Regardless, for one reason or another, I never sent Jeopardy! any change of address. I also figured that, since this was essentially a short year for them, new-contestant-wise (because of the UToC, they’d only be using about 250 contestants, instead of the usual 400 or so), I really didn’t have much of a shot anyway.

Then I got an email. I’d been at my new job about 3 months, and was still getting used to it. My gmail account, though, was still checked every day or two. And that’s the one I used on my Jeopardy! application. I got an email from Tony. Remember him, from a couple of pages ago? He said simply that he was updating all of the information from last year’s applicants, and why couldn’t they reach me? I emailed him back (after making sure I was still breathing) that I had recently moved, and hadn’t gotten around to sending in a forwarding address to the show yet. I listed my new phone number, and new address, and invited him to give me a call if he needed anything else.

He did call. Just to verify everything. And he made sure he mentioned, several times, not to read too much into the call, but that, if they were going to call me, it would be within the next few weeks, and that they were starting to tape the new season July 20th, so the first calls would start going out the next week. Excitedly, I posted the good news on the Millionaire board, that Jeopardy! was actually actively seeking to make sure I could be located! What I learned was that people had been contacted like this, and not called back…something I knew empirically, but really didn’t want to hear!

I had started months earlier to make plans to go up to New York City to audition for “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” around the middle of July. I found out that the same day I had planned on playing hooky from work, several others were going to come into town to audition too, including the lovely Ging from Alabama. And it turned out to be the same day as a GCer was having a short one-act play produced off-off-Broadway. So, without telling anyone I was planning to go up that day, I made plans to take the day off and audition.

The best laid plans of mice and men…

A few days after the call from Tony, I picked up some Chinese food on the way home from work. Have I mentioned how much I like Chinese food? After scarfing down my General Tso’s Chicken, I picked up my fortune cookie, and broke it open. “A new business venture is on the horizon,” it said.

The next day, I got another phone call. This one was from Glenn, the guy who was overseeing the mock game back in Pittsburgh when I auditioned. I was in shock…I’m not sure Glenn knew how excited I really was…I tried to hold it in, and succeeded, for the most part. Glenn told me that I had been selected to actually play Jeopardy! In fact, I’d be taping (assuming I could make it) on the first available tape dates for the new season, July 20 and/or 21. Could I make it?

What was going through my mind was, “FUCK YES!” It’s not what I said, though. I said something like, “Absolutely!” And we went through the preliminary bullshit that all contestants have to put up with. Verification that you don’t know anyone at Sony or the stations that air it, or anybody who’s even remotely connected with the show. And the first lecture on proper attire (no jeans, no sneakers, bring three outfits, yada yada yada). I’d be getting a packet by FedEx soon which would give me all the other details. I’d have to pay my own way out (which is why I’m flying out of Philadelphia today…it was about $150 cheaper than flying out of Newark, and I really didn’t want to drive all the way up to LaGuardia), but I’d get a pretty good rate at the Radisson in Culver City.

There's still more to come...I DID warn you this was long, didn't I?

My Backstory, Part II

2005-09-15T20:58:00.000-05:00

The time to take the test arrived. It was semi-computerized, with Johnny Gilbert’s voice reading the clues, one every 7 seconds. The first clue came up, and…..I blanked. Completely. It was as if it was in a language I had never heard before, like Swahili or Turkish. I remember it was a medical question, and it had something to do with childbirth, but (never having given birth myself) I was clueless. I wrote down some ridiculous answer like “Who is Dr. Spock?”….but then I let it go. I didn’t obsess over it, like I had “Silent Spring” those many years ago. And amazingly enough, I found myself writing the answers to the questions even before Johnny was half-way through asking them.

I stumbled a few times. The one that I still kick myself over had to do with Dickens (I knew that there would be at least one question about Dickens, and at least one on Shakespeare). And about two-thirds of the way through the test, I suddenly had a revelation about QUESTION 1! It hit me at the most unexpected time what the hell they had been asking. I hurriedly went back to Dr. Spock and crossed it out, replacing what (I hoped) was the right answer (which was an actual medical term, so you can see how ridiculous the "Dr. Spock" answer was!).

After the test, I spent some time discussing the questions with other test takers. I had a V8 head-thumping moment when someone told me the REAL answer to the Dickens question. And a few minutes later, they returned with the good (for some) and bad (for most) news about who passed. When my name was called (early, if I remember right), I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. Twelve of us had passed. Just twelve, less than 10% of those who took the test.

They gathered the twelve of us together, took polaroids while we filled in the rest of the paperwork they wanted (stories and such, plus a questionnaire about whether we knew anyone who worked for Sony Pictures, or the stations that aired the show. No problems for me there. They then called us up three at a time to play a mock game and for a little “Q&A” like Alex does on the show. Looking back, I’m not sure whether being the first one called up was a good thing or not. Did it make me more memorable, or what? I bounded (yep, bounded…it’s a sight to see!) up to the front of the room and took my place with two other gentlemen. The mock game is interesting. They warn you ahead of time that they aren’t really looking for right answers, so we shouldn’t be afraid to look stupid. They know we’re not really stupid, after all…we’d just passed the fucking Jeopardy! test!

No, what they’re interested in is how you take being in the spotlight. Are you going to freeze up, or will you remain calm, cool and collected? Do you have the personality of a slice of liverwurst, or can you hold an intelligent conversation? A nd most importantly, are you timid, or can you project your voice? I had been warned about this. My friend Phyllis (who has been on at least 247 game shows in her short life) gave me advice about this situation: “Be yourself, only bigger.” Now, I’m pretty big (in several different ways) already, but I remembered her advice, and when, after explaining the rules and buzzers and everything to us, Glenn (another contestant coordinator) asked me to make the first choice of the game board. I did everything Phee had told me to do: I projected my voice, spoke clearly, and used Glenn’s name (as if he were Alex Trebek). “I’ll take Historic Names for $200, Glenn!” I thought for a second I was TOO loud…but then Glenn said, “THAT’S the kind of thing we’re looking for!”

Most of the mock game went by in a blur. I used it mainly to get real-life practice on the buzzer (it’s EXACTLY like the one they use on the show. I could see the lights from where I was, and saw that I was fairly consistent about buzzing in first, when I buzzed in at all. I specifically didn’t buzz in on every question, mainly to “show” to the CCs that I also had an idea of what I DIDN’T know. I wasn’t afraid to be wrong, though, either…to take a shot, if nobody buzzed in, or if the others buzzed in and answered wrong.

Then came the mock interview section. Two minutes of “Hi, I’m Mike and I like margarine, marlin fishing and mountain climbing!” I can’t even remember 90% of what I said, other than “I’m an Environmental Engineer, which sounds like it should be interesting, but really isn’t…” and steered the talk around to more interesting stuff, most of which has left me now. To my horror, the other two gentlemen in my round of three were….well….much more interesting characters. One was a missionary who had just returned from central Asia. The other was a corrections officer at Western State Penitentiary. “Well,” I said to myself, “who do you think is going to be remembered? The geeky engineer, or the prison guard?” I figured, since I had nothing to lose, I might as well make a joke out of it (my own personal defense mechanism). “Oh, sure,” I said out loud to Glenn, “put me up there with a priest and a cop! Like I have a shot now!” I can’t stress enough how this was a joke, and reading it doesn’t do it justice. Suffice to say, Glenn laughed. I was pleased. I took my seat. And a little while later, I was on my way home.

To be continued yet again...

My Backstory, Part I

2005-09-14T17:26:00.000-05:00

I’m wondering what the fuck I’m doing here.

“Here” is seat 17D on US Airways Flight 21 nonstop from Philadelphia to Los Angeles. The latest Harry Potter novel is in the seat pocket in front of me. An empty box from the nearly-inedible $7 sandwich is also there. And I’m on my way to fulfill one of my longest, dearest dreams.

Where did it start? (My God, I’m sounding like Max Bialystock in “The Producers”…if I start in on my mother’s “clean but worn gingham dress,” please just shoot me.)

Flashback to Pittsburgh, last September. I had heard that my favorite game show was coming to town to do a week of shows at the Petersen Events Center at Pitt. College Week on Jeopardy! Along the way, they were doing auditions for us lowly locals. If, that is, you could snag a spot.

Audition spots for Jeopardy! are a little like albino tigers. They exist, but they’re rare, and if you can catch one, move heaven and earth to make sure you keep it. Luckily, I had a couple of “ins” in this department. I had a friend who had been on the show back in the Dark Ages (OK, so it was about 1990, but…). I had, the year before, been to a taping of the show where another of our little internet group of freaks had comported herself very well against a bit of a juggernaut of a player (Mel, I still think you got robbed!). I’m sure I’ve forgotten someone else who volunteered to send the contestant coordinators a message asking that I be given a shot. Whatever…it worked. I got an email saying that I had an appointment to take the test.

Ugh, the test. Don’t let anyone tell you that the audition test for Jeopardy! isn’t that tough. I’m still not certain exactly how I passed it. I’m sure it was by the skin of my teeth. Am I allowed a flashback within a flashback? Well, tough shit, I’m giving you one anyway.

About 15 years ago, I took the Jeopardy! test,. It was the second or third time, I forget which. Back then, it was a lot easier to get an audition. The first question on the test had to do with Rachel Carson’s “Silent Spring”. You must understand, this is what I do for a living. I’m an environmental engineer, for Christ’s sake. I’ve read “Silent Spring at least half a dozen times. And yet, when they asked THE FIRST QUESTION about who wrote it, I blanked completely. Horribly, Irretrievably. I probably left 15 or 20 blank answers on that test…I just couldn’t stop thinking about that damn “Silent Spring.” I failed that test miserably, and decided that, if I was ever given another chance, I was going to make damn sure that I relaxed enough that the same thing wouldn’t happen again. It took my 15 years to even get another shot. In the meantime, I shifted my attention to another show….one that, at least in its first incarnation, any Schmo could get on. All you had to do was pick up the phone and answer a few questions. But that’s another story.

So the fateful test day came. I sat in a ballroom at the William Penn Hotel in downtown Pittsburgh. We were all nervous, and I was actually glad I wore my suit, since it hid the sweat stains more than just a shirt would have. Tony, one of the contestant coordinators, regaled the crowd of about 150 candidates with stories of Alex Trebek, being a part of one of the best TV game shows ever, and other subjects. He gave us pointers on the test, making sure we all understood to look for “hidden clues” in the answers (although we weren’t required to “answer in the form of a question” on the test, I’ve been studying so long, it’s ingrained in my mind that I need to do so, so calling them “questions” sounds funny to me), and so forth. Personally, as someone who has watched the show semi-religiously since I was in college, I tuned Tony out a little.

The time to take the test arrived. To be continued...

Warning: Long story coming

2005-09-14T17:18:00.000-05:00

Over the next week, I'll be posting the story of how I got to be on Jeopardy!, in anticipation of my my airdate as a challenger.

I'll warn you now...it's a loooooooooong story.

Part I will be coming shortly.

So much for posting more often

2005-07-31T09:42:00.000-05:00

I keep promising myself I'll blog more often, but yet I keep slipping. Busy at work, busy at home, just plain busy. And lately, busier than normal. The good news is that August and September are typically my "slow periods" at work...Maybe, just maybe I'll get to post more. But I ain't makin' no more promises.

So, what have I been up to? Well...remember the Fortune Cookie that foretold me getting my new job? (if you forgot, it's here.) It's now a trend.

A few weeks ago, I got a fortune cookie that said, "A new business venture is on the horizon." Didn't think much of it, until the next day, when I got a call from Glenn Kagen. Glenn is the contestant coordinator for "Jeopardy!"...and he invited me out to California to tape. (How's that for burying the lead?)

After my voice regained the ability to function, I agreed. I was scheduled to tape either July 20 or July 21 (I'd likely not get bumped to the next week.) I crammed a bit on some subjects I thought I might need (without spoiling anything, I can tell you that NONE of the stuff I crammed was useful during the actual game). And I made sure to get Chinese food a day or two before leaving for LA. I will leave the story of that cookie for a later date...

Flew out to LA on Tuesday the 19th. Met up with my friend Uly and played some NTN (we kicked ass on the premium game that night...#3 in the US and Canada!). Got some rest, and headed to the studio. I can't say much about the experience until it airs...but I can say that the experience was fuckin' awesome (and I would say this no matter WHAT happened!). I met some amazing people from all over the US (although Jersey was represented well by four people). I didn't actually get to play the game on the first day of taping (they tape 5 shows a day, two days a week), and got held over to Thursday.

The staff and crew were terrific, too, but the contestants were some of the nicest, friendliest, smartest, funniest people I've ever met. It was an honor just to be there with them. You know the old saying that, in every group, there's got to be an asshole? Well, I didn't meet a single asshole in the bunch (which, now that I think about it, must mean that I was the asshole!). While watching the shows I wasn't participating in, I found myself really torn as to who to root for...everyone was deserving of that "Jeopardy! Champion" title, and since I liked everyone, I found myself really torn.

Anyway, look for me on your TV on September 21, 2005. I'll be the guy in the middle. :-)

Gonna make you laugh

2005-06-02T19:10:00.000-05:00

...or at least hurl. Have a look at the worst album covers ever made:

http://porktornado.diaryland.com/albumcover.html

and

http://porktornado.diaryland.com/covers2.html

While "Joyce" just makes me giggle, and "The Playmates" is great too, the best of the best is the crack ho' on the toilet.

Absolutely priceless.

I really should take a shower now.

2005-06-01T21:27:00.000-05:00

I just watched REALITY TV, and it wasn't "The Amazing Race" (one of the few reality shows I like).

Brace yourselves:

I just finished watching "Beauty and the Geek". Worse....I liked it. Most of it. Even though it made my head hurt.

The premise? Seven good looking young women who have the collective IQ of a toaster oven (which I find moderately more intelligent than a regular toaster, but less so than a full-sized oven) are paired up with seven...um....geeks. Not all of the geeks are completely unattractive (in fact, one of the beauties has already kinda fallen for another beauty's geek after seeing him in the hot tub...). And not all of the beauties are complete morons (note the word "complete" in that sentence). The idea is that the geeks try to teach the women book smarts, while the beauties try to teach the guys social skills. There are challenges that test the womens' ability to learn, and the guys' ability to interact with others of the same species in person...and naturally (since reality TV can't conceive of a show that doesn't) one team gets eliminated if they don't perform.

Some of the women are truly hot, for young 20-somethings. But one thinks that "In 1942, Columbus sailed the ocean blue". One said that South Dakota was further south than North Carolina. And a third said that Herbert Hoover was president during the Civil War (at least she named a former president!).

The geeks are....well....really geeky. Even the ones that don't look like your classic geek. I remember an old Simpsons episode where Homer goes back to college and rooms with three geeks. Upon meeting Marge, all three sprout nosebleeds....and I thought "now that's just absurd". Imagine my surprise to find that one of the geeks (a doctor, no less) got not one but TWO nosebleeds during this first episode from the stress.

Another of the geeks is the VP (I think) of the Dukes of Hazzard fan club. If he wins the grand prize ($250,000), he's going to buy the General Lee. Really.

And then there's Richard. Richard is from New Jersey. Richard could be Woody Allen's very geeky son (even with darker hair). Richard is the guy who's picture should be next to the word "nerd" in the dictionary. He's also unintentionally (and perhaps a bit intentionally) hilarious.

Now, I got started late in life socially myself (which is one reason this show actually intrigued me). While I dated a little in high school, I was in college before I....um....realized what my special purpose was for (100 bonus bogus points if you get the reference....and realize that if you admit it, I'll know you were the same way!). But of the seven geeks, three have already admitted that they've never known a woman in the Biblical sense. Richard (surprise surprise) hasn't even kissed anyone of the opposite sex. So there's that prurient aspect, too...

But what was so surprising was that even after just a little bit of time together, the two groups seem to see in each other some interesting qualities. The geek squad realizes that while these living Barbie dolls aren't exactly Mensa material (and I think a couple of the guys have already admitted to being Mensa members), they have qualities (other than the obvious) that the guys weren't expecting. And the women seem to have found out that geeks with social skills can be a pretty interesting combo, too.

I will admit that I'm sort of sorry that they've decided that they have to eliminate a couple every week. I think seeing even the most socially backward geeks and lunkheaded beauty gain the skills that each needs would be interesting in and of itself, with a full-scale "what have you learned" competition at the end to decide a winner.

But on the whole....I gotta say, I was surprised I enjoyed it so much.

Me on "Beat the Block"

2005-05-25T06:29:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, an online friend of mine came up to New York City on a shopping trip with her daughters. I've known Kay for quite a while, and had met her a half-dozen times before. Now, before you go thinking I had ulterior motives, know that Kay is a lovely, funny Southern Belle of a grandmother, so don't go there...she's way out of my league! :-)

Kay set up a nice late lunch one Saturday with a bunch of "Millionaire" geeks and fans in a nice little Italian place in the City. Among the attendees (there were about 12 or so of us) was a guy named Jason Block. Jason is a semi-legend for us Game Show fanatics. He won $125,000 on "Millionaire" back when it was on in Prime Time, and was a 4-day champ on "Jeopardy!" as well. In NYC on Monday, at an event in Times Square, he was one of 3 people to beat Ken Jennings, who was in town to promote his new board game "Can You Beat Ken?" He's from Brooklyn and, while some might find him overbearing, I like the guy. A while back, he called in to WPLJ, a NYC FM radio station, when they were doing a trivia contest, beat the champion at the time, and was asked (and accepted) the role of the champ for the contest. During lunch, he said to me, "Ya know, now that you live closer, you should call my show!" I'd never heard of it at that time, so asked for the details.

Turns out it's a weekly thing, on Tuesday mornings. Callers play a quick trivia game with Jason to try to win a trip and some cash. To date, no one had beaten him...he was 14-0 or something like that. I thought about it, but didn't want to try anything sight unseen, so I spent the next 3 weeks or so listening to it. Jason's very entertaining, and very good at the game. Basically, the players are asked questions alternately....open=ended (not multiple choice). You can ask for a 1-, 2- or 3-point question...the 3s are really tough, so they're reserved for when one player is really down in the score. First person to 10 points (after an equal number of questions is asked each) wins.

Last week, I got up the nerve to send them an email. I wasn't sure if they got a lot of requests, so I decided to go the cocky, funny route on my email. Regardless of the reason they chose me, I got a call on Thursday inviting me to play yesterday. No time to back out now!

I guess my cocky attitude worked. During the promos for the "competition," I got called cocky a couple of times....I guess I can't complain about that! The morning came, and I was, as usual when doing stuff like this, a bit nervous. There was some dull banter, then on to the game.

I was given the option of going first, but I deferred. Jason's first question (unfortunately, I don't remember ANY of his questions, save one...more on that later) was easy for him, and he quickly got his 2 points. My first 2-point question: What company recalled XX million sneakers because the fire-logo on them was very close to the Arabic word "Allah"? I had no clue. None. Never heard this. But how many sneaker companies are there? Converse....Adidas....New Balance....Avia....OK, so there are a lot. I said, "I have no clue....I'll just guess Nike." DING! Score tied, 2=2 after the first round.

Round 2: Jason again had no problem with his question (hopefully, I'll get a CD of this and be able to give the questions later!). 4-2, with my question yet to come. What lyricist was inspired in 1814 by a flag sewn by (some woman's name here)? My quick answer of Francis Scott Key was right, and it was 4-4.

Round 3: Jason got his 2-pointer right. My question was a slam dunk: For 2 points, who sued Marvel Comics over the rights to "Spider-Man"? Stan Lee gets me 2 points and another tie, 6-6.

Round 4: Jason gets a stumper for 2 points: What 16th Century invention was criticized by people who thought they would lose 10 days off their lives? Jason, clueless on this one, said "Sundial." He was wrong...and I had a chance to steal those 2 points. Unfortunately, I had no clue either, and blurted out "The printing press". Wrong....and the right answer of "The Gregorian calendar" made us both groan...we should have gotten that. My question was much easier: What California town renovated it's downtown area to resemble John Steinbeck's "Cannery Row"? Being a big fan of Steinbeck, I went with Salinas, and took the lead 8-6.

Round 5: Jason's question is again easy for him, and he ties the game at 8. My question, for the win: What major US port city lies at the mouth of the Patapsco River? My mind immediately said, "Baltimore.......wait, though....sounds Indian.....could be something up in New England....Portland?.....No, has to be Baltimore.....Someplace in Connecticut?.....Upstate New York (on Lake Erie, maybe?)....No.....what the hell!" I realized that, had I missed it, Jason could have stolen the 2 points and won the game. But I decided to go with my gut, and answered Baltimore.

So Jason is now 17-1.

What did I win? As usual, my trivia knowledge is taking me to the Caribbean...I won a vacation at an all-inclusive resort on Barbados, plus $800. And bragging rights as the first person to BEAT THE BLOCK!

Oy, it's good to be back!

2005-04-10T07:11:00.000-05:00

Mea maxima culpa for being away so long.....moving can be a bitch sometimes! Frankly, I'm still not completely moved in. I am still sitting among about 10 boxes that I just can't bring myself to unload. Maybe it's the fact that once I do, I'll have nothing left to procrastinate, or maybe it's a fear that I'll definitely be staying here a while, I don't know. I really should get back to those boxes though.

So much to talk about...where to start?

First off, I'm digging New Jersey a little, but it has its bad points, too. The job is going very well, and I'm busy and will remain that way for the forseeable future...that's a good thing. It's been tough getting back into the swing of it again, after 2 years away. New Jersey has some pretty funky ways of doing things environmentally speaking. Special software I've never used before, different types of clients I'm not used to...but I'm learning quickly, and have already started looking at the systems we use to see if they can be improved. In some cases, it's a pretty easy decision to change the current dynamic, since everyone agrees that we can be more efficient, but in others, it's like pulling teeth to get my colleagues to agree to change. I suppose I can't be too much into change at the beginning, but that's tough for me to realize!

My coworkers seem to be an interesting lot. It's very, very weird to report to someone 10 years younger than myself...I have to keep reminding myself not to judge Mike (my boss) based on his age, but on the work he does, which is consistently terrific. He knows his shit. And Bridget, while also young (and a bit shy) is also very good at what she does. The three of us could make a very good nucleus to an excellent team. Give us about 3 months, and we'll have to hire some more junior staff to keep up...

My apartment is vey nice. It's not the place I wanted most, but as a second choice, I'm very happy. It's basically a 2-bedroom townhouse, with the kitchen and living room downstairs and the bedrooms a bath upstairs. The bathroom is tiny...I really would have preferred a big roman tub, for instance...but other than that, I have few complaints. The only real problem is that the heat is kinda funky. Unless I crack a window in the spare bedroom/office, it's about 65 degrees downstairs and about 85 degrees upstairs. Hardly great sleeping temperature! I love the hardwood floors upstairs, though, and the windows are good enough so that Sybil has a good view of some wildlife behind the apartment....she seems to like it.

I was deeply saddened by the death of Pope John Paul II recently. While I didn't always agree with his hard-line conservative stance on some issues facing my church, it's difficult not to agree that he was a kind, peace-loving man whose congeniality and intelligence made him a great man. I'm curious to see who the College of Cardinals choose next. Rumors have it that it's likely to be either another Italian or someone from the third world (Nigeria and Brazil are likely candidates for homelands for our next pope, so they say). While an African pope might be a good political choice (hoping that he can try to mend the schism with Islam), having a pope who can look at the problems that the American and European churches have (in terms of the growing lack of priests, for instance) and make some hard choices regarding celibacy, female priests, birth control and the like is, IMO, a definite plus. May God bless the Conclave, and bring them enlightenment.

I got up to NYC last weekend when my friend Kay from Alabama came north. Was only there for lunch, but had a wonderful time. Got to see some old friends and acquaintances I hadn't seen in quite a while, enjoyed a terrific lunch (Mangia e Bevi, 53rd and 9th), laughed a lot, talked a lot....We've got to do it more often. And it's really nice to know that once WWTBAM audition season starts again (I'm thinking July), I'll be close! WOOHOO!!!!

Dad's doing surprisingly well. At least, he SAYS he is. I'm heading home next weekend, so I'll get to see for myself. He's at least agreed to move into this wonderful retirement community. The place is gorgeous....it almost looks like a hotel. The dining room isn't like most communities, very cafeteria-ish...it's more like a nice restaurant, with several different entrees to choose from each night. It's got a pool, lots of activities, and they'll take him to his doctors' appointments, and remind him to take his meds, and check on him if he doesn't come out of his apartment every day...he'll also make some new friends...I think it's going to be good for him. I think we're looking at a May 1 move-in...More later on that.

Well, I think that's going to do it for today. I promise I'll be more regular about blogging now that I'm (almost) moved in.

Apartment hunting sucks

2005-02-19T16:33:00.000-05:00

Just got back from two days of looking for an apartment in Central NJ. Geez, are rents high out there!

I did find a fantastic place: it's a 1500 sq. ft. up-and-down 2-bedroom apartment (master bedroom and loft upstairs, 2nd bedroom, living room, dining room and kitchen downstairs)....but I'm really going to have to do some serious budgeting to afford it.

I'm actually heading back out there next week for one more day of looking. There were a couple of places that weren't open today, and I want to look at them before making up my mind. One in particular is about $300 cheaper than the above, and looks to be about the same size (maybe 1250 sq. ft.) It's also a little closer to my new office. So I'll take a look at that, and one or two others I'm finding on the internet, make up my mind, sign a lease, and get ready to load up the UHaul the weekend of the 5th.

Oh, and one more thing:

2005-02-15T12:31:00.000-05:00

It became official yesterday.

I've accepted a job in New Jersey. My anticipated start date is March 7, 2005.

I can't tell you what a load this is off my mind. When you've been out of work as long as I, you really start to get a bitter, cynical attitude about everything, and I saw that start to creep in more and more lately.

The only major obstacle left is going to be convincing my dad to move into a retirement community. For the most part, I'm not worried too much about him...he can handle himself. But there is one lingering doubt. Dad's biggest problem right now is that he sometimes forgets his medication. He seems to have a major mental block about it, in fact. The morning pills he takes without any problem...it's just habit, I suppose. He's been taking them for 15 years or so. The good news is, these are the ones for his heart and blood pressure. With them, he's generally pretty healthy.

About 6 or 8 months ago, he started taking a pill around dinnertime for his Parkinson's-like tremors (it's not Parkinson's per se, but is related to his cognitive difficulties and is caused by a shortage of dopamine in his brain), and another for his cognitive difficulties themselves. These, he forgets...and that makes it worse, because they're supposed to help him remember things. And at night, he takes another pill for his cholesterol. He's about 75% on this one...

The obvious solution is for me to call him three times a day, and remind him. I'd really like to find a place for him that will, make sure he's taking his meds...it's just going to be tough to find one.

Anyway, so I'm off to the Garden State again on Thursday and Friday of this week to look for an apartment. So far, I've got an interesting list of places off the internet...we'll see if there's some I've missed that I'll like better. I'll be staying with my cousin, Madelyn, for this trip. That's one of the positives of this new job...I'll have family near by.

"Sideways" vs. "Million Dollar Baby"

2005-02-15T11:20:00.000-05:00

Finally got out to the movies a couple of times recently. Here are my impressions of two Oscar contenders:

Million Dollar Baby is one of those movies that I think my opinion of will change as time goes on. I loved the first hour and a half. Clint Eastwood gives a great performance, as does Morgan Freeman (who will take my official "Favorite Black Actor" spot recently vacated by the late Ossie Davis, if I was dumb enough to have such a thing!). Hilary Swank (not my favorite actress) does a servicable job. The story (about a 30-something woman boxer/waitress and the 70-something trainer she wants to train her) is interesting, and at times compelling. However, the story simply falls apart in the final act. I can't say too much about the plot here (that wouldn't be fair), but IMO it's just a bit tough to swallow given what had happened during the first 2/3 of the movie. Suffice to say that Swank's Oscar nomination became clear in this section, but I'm still hoping Annette Bening finally gets her due.

I love Eastwood's directoral style...it's almost minimalist. He doesn't hit you over the head with the character's quirks and posings, just lets his actors quietly inhabit their characters. He doesn't see the need for a whole lot of backstory...he presents clues, and assumes the viewer is smart enough to draw the lines to connect the dots. The film also has a bleak, spare visual style (as you would expect of a film whose main location is a rundown gym in the tougher sections of L.A.), and a haunting score (provided by Eastwood, again). But it's Freeman's performance that seems to hold the whole thing together. A lesser actor wouldn't have had the gravitas necessary to keep the loose threads of the plot together.

Then there's Sideways. Maybe it's just me, but I found that this was a case of the whole being somehow less than the sum of its parts. It's the story of two middle-aged white guys (aka, MAWGs) who cut loose in the wilds of Santa Ynez County's wine country to celebrate the impending marriage of one of the two. Thomas Haden Church, as the groom-t0-be, does a very nice job of balancing the desire to "get his nut" one last time before tying the knot; Paul Giamatti (who was so amazing in American Splendor, and very funny in Private Parts), though, can't seem to find his balance as the more cynical, neurotic half of the duo. Frankly, he just plays it a bit too manic for my taste. Then there are the women: Virginia Madsen is luminous as Maya, the waitress who falls for Giamatti, and Sandra Oh is also wonderful as the wine pourer (at one of the local vineyards) who becomes enamored of Church, without knowing he's about to get married.

There's some nice symbolism, using grapes and wine as a metaphor for personality and love. Madsen gives a very nice speech about how she came to love wine. And the film is very pretty...having driven through that part of California myself a couple of times, I can say that director Alexander Payne did a nice job photographically. There are sections of the movie that are laugh-out-loud funny, ranging from the simple delivery of a line ("If anyone orders any Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!") to the slapstick of being chased by ugly naked guy.

Maybe it's the fact that I find wine snobs to be...um...snobs. The pretentious way that many who are in love with the grape talk about wine just grates on my nerves. Witness Giamatti going into an orgasmic rant about one of the wines he's smelling: "Citrus, passion fruit, just the faintest soupçon of asparagus, and, like, a nutty Edam cheese"....I mean, come on. Maybe the writer intended for the viewer to think these people were pretentious dicks, but it hardly ingratiates us to the characters. We end up bonding with the trite, superhorny Jack (Church) instead of the smart, generally funny and hurting Miles (Giamatti).

On the whole, while I loved the performances, and thought the script was funny and smart, it still adds up to a "Yeah, I liked it, but..." movie for me.

Million Dollar Baby: the first 2/3 is a 9, the last 1/3 is a 6, so call it a 7.5.
Sideways: 7

Next on my list is The Aviator.

Of Engagement Rings and Friends

2005-02-15T11:14:00.000-05:00

A big congratulations to my friends (and NTN compadres) Bob G. and Jill D., who got engaged last night. Personally, I don't see what she sees in Bob, but....I guess he has to have SOME redeeming qualities! :-)

Kinda disappointed that the champagne was pretty much kicked by the time I got to the bar, but at least Jill saved me one glass!

Bob and Jill, may you have many long years together.

RIP Ossie Davis

2005-02-10T14:31:00.000-05:00

Regular readers may remember that I mentioned the great Ossie Davis just a while ago, while discussing Bubba Ho-Tep. One of my favorite actors...Rest well, Ossie.

"So...how'd the interview go?"

2005-02-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

Not bad. Not great. (It can always be better, right? Isn't that the definition of interviewing?)

But I'm not exactly...enamored of the company. I think they're unrealistic in their expectations of the Air Quality field in the area. Having spent a couple of years there looking into the market, and listening to their expectations for the type of work I'd be bringing in, I see a bit of a disparity between the two. What's strange is that they've got a good bit of business local to the office, but in a slightly different area than what I do...and they'll want me to manage that work, as well as find new clients in the areas I specialize in...clients that pretty much don't exist.

So....it looks like I'm headed east-bound on the PA turnpike to New Jersey. I've still got to talk to both the Las Vegans and the New Jerseyites, but I'm leaning strongly towards the east.

Just flew in from the Coast...

2005-02-10T12:01:00.000-05:00

...and boy are my arms tired! (Ba-dum-dum)

It's been a really hectic week. Sunday was the Super Bowl. Congrats to the Pats (yecch), and great game by the Iggles. That was part of the problem, of course...the game was too damn close. It was supposed to be over by halftime, allowing me plenty of time to get some sleep before my 5:30 AM flight on Monday to Las Vegas. But the game was close...and I had to watch, didn't I? So I was up until after 11 PM. And by then, I realized that, since I had to get up at 3 or 3:30 AM to catch my flight, I might as well just stay up, hope I sleep a little on the plane, or else just get an early afternoon nap.

I wasn't supposed to meet anyone from the company I was interviewing with until Tuesday, so a nap would do me good. Maybe I'd catch a movie Monday night... Natch, it didn't work out that way.

I caught the flight to Atlanta at 5:30, and arrived there about 7:30 or so. The Atlanta to Las Vegas leg left around 9ish, and arrived in Las Vegas at about noon, local time. Couldn't sleep on the plane (I rarely can...some sort of motion thing, I guess), so when I got to Las Vegas, I was beat. As I waited for the shuttle to pick me up to take me to my rental car, my cell phone rang. It was my contact at the company I was interviewing with the next day..."Mike," he said, "Glad you made it safely. Are you free for lunch?" Now I was wearing jeans and a sweat shirt, was so tired I could easily have fallen asleep at the wheel, and hadn't shaved....but imagine my surprise to hear myself say, "Sure, I can meet you in an hour or so!" Off to my hotel, shower, shave, change, back through the construction zone on the interstate (they're creating a new interchange between two highways in Henderson), meet with Kurt, and we have a nice talk.

Afterwards, I went back to the hotel to try to get some sleep. I swear that they really do pump pure oxygen into the hotel rooms to make it tougher for you to sleep...cuz all I did was stare at the ceiling for a couple of hours. Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I probably fell asleep about 11 PM.

I awoke Tuesday morning about 4:30 AM. This is my usual time to wake up...only it's 7:30 on the East coast. The oxygen in the air made it impossible for me to go back to sleep, especially when you figure in a headache that could have immobilized Detroit. As the morning went on (with me laying in bed watching infomercials and early morning news), the headache worsened...and worsened. I finally got up, threw on some clothes (I'm not even sure what I ended up wearing...it might have been my suit over a Hard Rock T-shirt....I was hardly thinking clearly), and set off for a Walgreens down the street, where I could buy some Tylenol.

Luckily, my real interview wasn't scheduled until 3 PM. Unfortunately, it was now about 6:30 AM, I had to be out of my hotel room by 11:00, and had no real budget for the tables. It was also going to take a while for the Tylenol to kick in...even my stomach was starting to protest the migraine. I wasn't sure I could keep it down, but I decided to hit the coffee shop in my hotel for breakfast.

A word of advice for anyone with an elephant sitting on your skull and a touch of nausea that goes with it: Never order scrambled eggs. OTOH, the toast helped. Back up to the room to try to catnap...with a stopover at the registration desk. They'll give me until noon in my room...I probably could have talked them into 2 PM (they weren't busy...that's not good for them, but it's an advantage to stay in a "locals" casino hotel), but didn't. After staring at the ceiling for another hour or two, my wake up call (which I'd forgotten I'd scheduled!) came, and now that the Tylenol had kicked in, at least the headache and nausea had lessened. After a shower and some packing, I checked oout of the hotel, and decided to drive around the city to see how it had changed since I left...there were some new strip malls, and the new Wynn resort towards the north end of the Strip looks pretty nice (it opens in April, I think), and they've closed my favorite sushi restaurant (Manda House on Sahara...they lost their lease. They'll be reopening in a new place on Fort Apache and Flamingo, from what I hear). On the whole, not a lot of really big changes, but it's only been 2 years.

I still had a couple of hours to kill, so I stopped at the Sahara to play some $1 live blackjack...only to find that they've stopped having that, and the lowest limit was $3. Oh, well...I'll buy in for $20 and see what happens. Well, what happened was that I won about $30...not too bad.

Had my meeting that afternoon (more on that in another blog entry later today), and went from there directly to my old haunt of PT's Pub on Warm Springs for a reunion with my old NTN trivia team...it was really wonderful to see everyone again. I miss those guys a lot. And even with the really crappy game we had, we were still #48 in the country (and I was on the national ranking board!). Juan got really ticked off that I won 4 of the 5 games we played...HA!

I was still going on about 5 hours sleep in the previous 48 hours...but I couldn't worry about that. I just figured I'd have no problem sleeping on the flight from Las Vegas to Atlanta, right?

Got to the airport in plenty of time to catch my redeye flight at midnight. The flight left right on time, and I didn't even bother getting out my book or DVD player...I knew I'd have no problem falling asleep. Unfortunately, it was a very short flight (only about 3 hours, putting us in Atlanta at around 6 AM with the time change)...and all I got was about an hour of sleep. The layover was supposed to be about an hour or so, but naturally, the flight was a little late. We finally left Atlanta for Pittsburgh about 8:30 or so. It was supposed to be a flight of about an hour and a half...we should have landed at 10. But there was a bit of fog in Pittsburgh, so we circled around, waiting for it to lift. And we circled. And we circled. And we circled. At noon, the captain told us we'd have to fly over to Washington to get refueled, and wait out the weather.

I finally arrived back in Pittsburgh at 2:45 PM. 14 1/2 hours after I had left Las Vegas. Total amount of sleep that night: 2 hours. Total amount of sleep in the 72 hours: 7 hours.

Oy.

My long personal nightmare is over!

2005-02-04T17:40:00.000-05:00

I received a phone call this afternoon from the company in New Jersey. They have formally made me an offer (I'll get the paperwork next week). It's a very acceptable offer. If I didn't have this trip to Las Vegas to take into consideration, I'd accept it today.

I was above board though...I did tell them that I had another interview planned for next week, and that I wouldn't be able to make a decision until I got back from that...but I let them know that I wasn't just telling them that to get the offer sweetened. Primarily, I told them so that they'd realize that ethically (since I'd accepted the invitation to the other interview before getting the offer), I was bound to show up at the other interview.

What this also means is that I won't feel bad if things in Las Vegas don't go well...at least I'll see my old friends out there again! Naturally, I'm hoping that things DO go well out there...I'd really like to move out west again. But at least the big burden of not having ANYTHING has been lifted. My heart is so full right now, I can't hardly speak.

From the bottom of my heart, I'd like to thank each and every one of you who have kept thinking of me, and praying for me throughout this whole long period of transition. It's so wonderful to know you have friends...even those you've never met.

It never rains but...

2005-02-03T15:52:00.000-05:00

...it shore does pore. Maybe.

After a couple of phone interviews with another consulting company in Las Vegas, I hadn't heard anything from them in about two weeks or so. I'd given up, as usual...this job search thingie sucks.

So now that the NJ job is heating up (I heard from their HR rep; he's just about got my references nailed down, and should get back to me today or tomorrow), and I've had some fairly serious feelers from another consulting company in the Philadelphia area (near Norristown, for those that care), guess who calls again this afternoon?

Part of me hopes all of these people make me offers, and I can play them against one another...but of course I'm not holding my breath. I'm fairly confident that NJ is going to happen...but if it comes down to Northern/Central New Jersey and Las Vegas, where do YOU think I'd rather be?

*sigh*...I REALLY shouldn't complain. And I'm remembering my fortune cookie: "All [my] hard work will soon pay off."

Is that the "Twilight Zone" theme I hear?

2005-01-31T21:40:00.000-05:00

I was in Somerville, NJ on Friday at a job interview. I've quit saying, "Boy, that went well!" because frankly, too many times I've thought that, and had nothing come of it. In addition, I had three good phone interviews just today.

Tonight, my Dad and I were trawling around the kitchen trying to figure out what to eat for dinner. I cooked a big family meal (my brother, sister-in-law and their kids came over) - turkey, smashed potatoes, glazed carrots, and a cake for dessert. So I really didn't feel like cooking tonight. We decided to splurge and order in some Chinese food (shrimp and scallops in garlic sauce, and a crispy chicken dish that's kinda like General Tso's chicken, but better).

My fortune cookie said, "All your hard work will soon pay off." I read it to my dad, and said, "See? When will that phone ring?"

Just then....the phone rang. I jokingly said, "See? That's the NJ office. They're going to make me an offer!" I really thought it was my brother, who usually calls around that time of night anyway. Picking up the phone, I almost said, "Hi, (brotherofKT)!," but didn't, and it was a good thing...

It was the NJ office, telling me they just need to check my references before sending me an offer letter.

I nearly freaked. "All [my] hard work is soon going to pay off!"

Now.... be forewarned. I have not actually seen an offer from these people, and refuse to get my hopes up too much until I do. And even then, I'm not even sure the offer won't be incredibly insulting. So hold off on the congrats until later in the week. But the sequence of events is just too....Twilight Zonish not to feel odd!

Razzie Nominations

2005-01-26T09:51:00.000-05:00

Don't know why I didn't post this list along with yesterday's Oscar nomination info, but...

The nominations for the 2005 Razzie Awards, celebrating the worst in movies for 2004 have been announced. Leading the pack is Catwoman with 7 nominations, including Worst Picture, and Halle Berry for Worst Actress. Alexander grabbed 6 nominations, also including Worst Picture, and one for Angelina Jolie for Worst Actress (paired with her less-than-stellar work in Taking Lives). The other Worst Picture nominees: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2; Surviving Christmas; and White Chicks.

My favorite nominations, though, go to George W. Bush (up for Worst Actor and half of the Worst Couple - with either Condoleeza Rice or "His Pet Goat" - in Fahrenheit 9/11) and Ms. Rice again for Worst Supporting Actress for the same film. I think Michael Moore may actually be campaigning for a win in these three categories.

This year, the Razzies are also doing a "Worst of Our First 25 Years" set of special awards. Up for the Worst Drama of their First 25 are Swept Away, Showgirls, Mommie Dearest, The Lonely Lady and the one that would get my vote, Battlefield Earth. In the Worst Comedy category, the nominees are The Adventures of Pluto Nash, The Cat in the Hat, the truly abysmal Freddy Got Fingered, Leonard Part 6, and my runaway favorite for this category: Gigli. Finally, they've nominated six movies for Worst Musical: Can't Stop the Music, From Justin to Kelly, Glitter, Rhinestone, Spice World and (justification for its inclusion on my personal worst of list from earlier this month) Xanadu. THHHPPPPPTTTTT to everyone who razzed me about that one. I am vindicated!

Nomination Ruminations

2005-01-25T15:10:00.000-05:00

Again, there's not a whole lot I can say about the Oscar nominations that came out today, since I haven't seen most of the movies. I'm sure I'll catch the biggies by the time the awards are handed out next month, but I can say a couple of quick things:

I did see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and think it got royally jobbed. Jim Carrey should have had a nomination for Best Actor, Michel Gondry for Best Director, and the movie should have had a Best Picture nomination.
Ditto the Best Picture nomination for Kill Bill, Vol. 2, and Uma Thurman and David Carradine. Quentin Tarantino, too.
Everyone I've talked to about Sideways says that Paul Giamatti is excellent. Not that he would have had a chance against Jamie Foxx in Ray, but I hear he got jobbed too.
I don't care what anyone says, I'm rooting for Annette Bening to win for Being Julia. If only to make up for her not beating Hilary Swank the first time (Bening really should have won for American Beauty).
I'm curious as to why House of Flying Daggers wasn't nominated for Best Foreign Language Film. Of course, I think anything by Zhang Yimou is worth watching. Ditto Zhang Ziyi.
Best Animated Feature is going to be an interesting category. I've actually seen all three movies, and would take The Incredibles over Shrek 2, but barely. Loved 'em both.
How great is it that Alan Alda got a nomination for The Aviator? Even without seeing the movie, I'll bet he'll become my favorite in that category...although it's always hard to vote against Morgan Freeman.

I'll have more to say after I've seen a couple of the biggies.

I'll bet this is in Ben Roethlisberger's CD player right now.

2005-01-24T09:32:00.000-05:00

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

Potatoes, Mummies and Presidents, Oh My!

2005-01-20T16:07:00.000-05:00

I read about this in the paper today, and went looking for a link...one finally popped up on the Millionaire board. You gotta see it to believe it...but at the same time, it doesn't surprise me, with Episode 3 opening in just 4 short months.

Yup....Darth Tater. Leave it to Hasbro.

I watched Bubba Ho-Tep last night...it was lent to me by one of my NTN team members. And the whole time, I'm thinking, "What the fuck is this? Why am I watching it?" And then I realize that I'm giggling like I'd just smoked something....unusual. Yes, it's dumb. Yes, it's odd. C'mon...soul-sucking mummies, Elvis and Jack Kennedy? Set in a rest home? But the more I watched it, the more I liked it....And I even plan to watch it again tonight, with the DVD audio commentary on. And let's face it...how bad could anything with Ossie Davis be?

Speaking of NTN, last night's Passport destination was "Presidential Birthplaces." I made the incredibly stupid mistake of saying, "We should have a good shot at a perfect score tonight." We then proceeded to get spanked by several questions in a row. Remind me never to do that again. We ended up #8 in the country, but I'm disappointed anyway. Next week: Ecuador.

King George II got inaugurmarated (as Homer would say) again today. Yawn. Wake me up when sanity returns to the White House, won't you? (My conservative friends aren't gonna like that, but tough.)

More #*%&# snow

2005-01-19T11:06:00.000-05:00

I hate snow.

Or perhaps I'd better amend that to say that, other than on the ski slopes, I hate snow. I hate snow on my driveway. I hate snow on the roads. I hate snow on the sidewalk.

In other words: I hate to shovel that shit. And living in Pittsburgh, I've grown up shoveling that shit. Over and over and over and over.

It snowed on Monday. Only about 2 inches or so, but with the bitter cold, shoveling that shit wasn't fun. And today, it started snowing again. About another 2 inches so far, and while we're in a lull as I type this, we're due for another inch or 2 before it's over. It's not a huge snowstorm, by any means...but it's annoying and a pain in the royal ass to shovel that shit. And I drive a tiny convertible that weighs almost as much as I do (it's a Miata, in case you care)....not the best car in the world for snow-covered hills.

So.....I hate snow. It's one reason I was so happy to move to Las Vegas a few years ago...and one reason I'd LOVE to move back. Once you've had a Vegas winter, you don't ever want to see snow again. Except on the ski slopes of course. But you definitely don't want to go back to shoveling that shit.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with a snow shovel.

I know I am, but what are you?

2005-01-17T17:58:00.000-05:00

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian WHEN:

1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80 for the weekend.

KT sez: Or to the Jersey Shore.

2. You measure distance in hours.

KT sez: Doesn't everyone do this? I know I'M guilty.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

KT sez: One for me, but I know a lot of people who fit this.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

KT: Guilty.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

KT: Guilty.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

KT: This is a fallacy. Orange hats, yes, but not camo.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave all the doors unlocked.

KT: Not in my neighborhood you don't.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

KT: When I had a girlfriend, this was true.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

KT: Happens all the time.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

KT: Not true. When they're filled with ICE, that's OK, but if it's only snow, it causes flat tires all the time. I have experience in this.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

KT: Absolutely true.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

KT: Hell, I can identify which part of Pittsburgh someone's from just from their accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a Deer next to your blue spruce.

KT: No concrete deer, but we used to have one of those white wooden reindeer.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

KT: No comment.

15. Down South to you means Pittsburgh.

KT: No you don't. This one is dumb.

16. A critter is something you eat.

KT: No you don't. This one is EXTREMELY dumb.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.

KT: I don't even know what a pole shed is. I have had a buddy call me all excited because he got a new snowblower, though.

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

KT: True....or at least SOME Fridays.

19. YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS DUE TO FROST.

KT: Don't laugh. This has happened.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

KT: Wish I had one. I spent an hour shoveling the white sh*t off my driveway this morning.

21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

KT: Yup, true.

Here we go, Steelers, here we go!

2005-01-16T15:40:00.000-05:00

A big "WHEW!" and "Attaboy" to my beloved Stillers. I've been a lifelong fan (not tough, since I was born and raised here!), and loved 'em even when they sucked...like last year, for instance.

Big Ben Roethlisberger did a fine job, despite the untimely interceptions. And the D was incredibly tough, holding the Jets to just one offensive score.

But let's face it...we were incredibly lucky. Whodathunk that Brien would miss 2 easy field goals late in the 4th quarter? And the Special Teams unit has to do a better job of tackling, or we'll start calling them the "Special Needs Unit" instead.

Here's hoping the Colts can squeak by the Pats today...I know we'd have an easier time with them (despite the incredible year Peyton Manning is having) than we would against the Pats.

VICTORY IS MINE!

2005-01-14T13:16:00.000-05:00

Yep, it's a silly exercise. And I lied to get the "right answer" (in other words, being Brian is boring, I'd have rather been Stewie!).

Which Family Guy character are you?

Crap, I missed a day

2005-01-13T18:08:00.000-05:00

Only took me less than two weeks.

OK, so I'll make up for it with two quick reviews of stuff I've heard/read recently.

First up: I just finished an incredible novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Moonlight by Mark Haddon. It's kind of like Sherlock Holmes meets William Faulkner meets Flowers for Algernon, but not really. (How's that for being obtuse?). The narrator is Christopher Boone, a 15-year-old autistic living in Swindon, England. Christopher knows all the countries of the world, and all their capitals, and every prime number up to 7,057. He has a pet rat named Toby that is his best friend in the world. He lives with his father, hates the colors yellow and brown (because they remind him of pee and poo), can do A-level math, hates to be hugged, and has a tendency to punch out anyone who touches him. Basically, he relates without emotion, and has a distant view of the world as a result.

The novel opens with Christopher finding his neighbor's poodle stabbed to death with a garden fork. Christopher decides he wants to write a mystery novel (his favorite book is The Hound of the Baskervilles), and we follow him on his journey to discover the murderer...but nothing is ever easy.

Sure, the main plot twist is right out of Alice Walker, but the story is so well told, and Christopher is such a well-drawn character, that I gladly followed along in his adventure. One of the best books I've read in quite a while.

Next up in the review-parade: Green Day's American Idiot. Wow. And wow. And I mean WOW. I'm not a big fan of Billie Joe Armstrong and the boys. I thought Dookie was kinda...dumb. "When I Come Around" was about the best thing on the album, IMO. Then there was Nimrod with its incredibly overplayed "Good Riddance (The Time Of Your Life)." That song was everywhere, including on ER every 10 minutes, it seemed. So when American Idiot was recommended to me, I thought, "Yeah...I'll get around to it."

Well, I got around to it. And I'm extremely pissed at myself for not getting around to it sooner.

It's a great argument for the album as long-form artwork, something we haven't seen in a long time, frankly. I grew up on Pink Floyd's The Wall and The Who's Tommy...rock operas, in other words. American Idiot is, as far as I know, the first punk rock opera, and it rocks as well (if not better) than its predecessors (well...The Wall maybe; I have a soft spot for Tommy that's kinda related to my Ann-Margret obsession....stuff for my future analyst, I suppose!).

American Idiot tells the story of "Jesus of Suburbia," a kid with an abusive father and a mother who means well. He lives in loneliness until he meets "St. Jimmy," the back alley drug dealer. After Jesus finds who he thinks will be the girl of his dreams ("Whatshername"), Jimmy kills himself, the girl dumps him, and he ends up a desk jockey. Uplifting, huh? But oh, when you hear it....

Musically, it's got a number of different genres (necesary for a rock opera, after all) from power ballad to classic punk. It's jarring, in-your-face, and accessible all at the same time, and (IMO) Billie Joe has never sounded better. After just a couple of listens, this album has staked out a place in my "Never Take Out of the Car" CD holder.

OK, I'll face my addiction

2005-01-11T13:10:00.000-05:00

IIRC, the first step to beating an addiction is to admit you have it. Well, I have one. I'm addicted to "The Settlers of Catan," a pretty innocuous little board game that has found its way to the Net in Java form. I first learned of it on the MSN games site (they have a free trial of it with a one-hour time limit...I went through that in just about...um...one hour!). Since then, I've found this site, that has a Java version. You can play alone (against the computer) or with other humans.

It takes about 10 minutes to learn...and so far I've only won one game against the bots on the Java site. But I can see that I could very well make this an obsession...

A Monday Night Without Football

2005-01-10T23:04:00.000-05:00

...is like a day without orange juice. Or something like that.

Looks like the Steelers are playing the Jets next weekend. I'm smiling at the prospect...the Jets on the road is bad enough (despite the gift they got from the Chargers), but they haven't won in Pittsburgh in something like 200 years.

I'm liking Indy over the Patriots, the Falcons over the Rams and the Eagles over the Vikings.

Of course, I was 1-3 last weekend...but I'm sure my record will improve.

"Intelligent Design". And "The Exorcist".

2005-01-09T14:30:00.000-05:00

Two incongruous topics today. Deal with it.

First off, there was an interesting article in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette about Intelligent Design, and how the Dover Area School District in York, PA is trying to incorporate it into biology classes. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about the debate or the topic itself (since you can read the article for yourself), but here's my take.

As a scientist, I'm against the inclusion in a biology class, simply because it's lousy science. It's not that the idea doesn't have merit (as a Catholic, I firmly believe that there is a Creator, and that we didn't evolve without purpose). It's just that it's not a theory in the truest, scientific sense of the word. A theory, by definition, must be testable and verifiable through independent, unbiased experimentation. Evolution, while not a perfect theory (IMO), is testable. ID is not, at least by today's standards. ID is a belief system, and is based on faith. By its very nature, you can't ever prove it (again, by today's standards...who knows, maybe someday it WILL be testable).

So how do I reconcile my faith with my belief in science? Easy...I don't. I can accept that we have evolved in much the way Charles Darwin theorized. But I can also believe that that evolution has its roots in a higher power. God lives on a completely different plane of existence from man, and His laws don't necessarily follow the same rules as the ones He set up for us here. ID certainly has a place in education, but (IMO) in a comparative religions setting, not as science.

This is where The Exorcist comes in, sort of. At the beginning of the DVD copy I own of this movie (the scariest movie I've ever seen, or ever will see), director Bill Friedkin talks about how (I'm paraphrasing, bear with me) The Exorcist will only reinforce your beliefs. If you believe that there is a God, the movie will not challenge that belief for you. If you don't, you won't find anything in the movie that will refute your current beliefs, either...enough evidence exists for both explanations. That's kind of how I view the ID debate; including it in a science class isn't good science, but including it in a comparative religions setting makes perfect sense.

Many people don't know that the novel (and movie) are based in part on real-life events that happened in Silver Spring, MD around 1950 or so. William Peter Blatty (who wrote the novel) interviewed the priest involved in the real exorcism, and it was his opinion (the priest's, that is) that there really was a demon inhabiting the body of the teenage boy who was exorcised. I hear that TLC has a documentary on the real-life exorcism airing this week...I'll have to watch it.

The last time I watched The Exorcist, I was dumb enough to watch it late at night. When I went to bed, it was around 1 AM, and rather tired. The scenes where Chris MacNeil keeps hearing noises in the night which she thinks are rats in the attic had unnerved me yet again, like they always do. I fell quickly to sleep, only to be awakened about an hour by the most chilling noises outside my bedroom window. It sounded a bit like what I imagine a banshee would sound like. After making sure it wasn't Sybil (it wasn't), I looked out to see a crow in the tree outside my window...screeching like something other-worldly. I think it was just God's way of telling me not to watch horror movies that late into the night. It also took me about an hour to get back to sleep...

What kind of pet owner am I?

2005-01-08T08:53:00.000-05:00

A week at this blogging thing, and I have yet to introduce my faithful reader(s) to my kitty! I could easily be stripped of cat owning priveleges like...um...cleaning the litter box and picking up hairballs, and....

Where was I?

At any rate, I've posted a picture of my cat below. Cute, isn't she? She's a charcoal-gray and white tuxedo shorthair, about 3 years old. When I adopted her, she had the name "Liberty" (since she was born shortly after 9/11/01). I renamed her "Psycho Kitty" after about 10 minutes. This got shortened to "P.K."...which evenutally became "Peek." I was never really happy with that, though...but the name stuck until she was about 4 months old, when I had to leave town for about 2 weeks, and had to leave the kitten with some friends. After agreeing that she really was a psycho kitty, they suggested the name "Sybil"...since she has 23 separate personalities (and only 2 like me!). She's been Sybil ever since.

Not that it matters, since she doesn't come when called.

T.S. Eliot knew what he was talking about:

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey --
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter --
But all of them sensuble everyday names
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum --
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover --
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

2005-01-08T08:47:00.000-05:00

This is Sybil

After 9 PM and I haven't said anything today

2005-01-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

I refuse to let myself slip. So even with nothing to say, I'll still post some drivel, and you have to slog through it! (evil laugh) HAHAHAHAHA! (/evil laugh)

OK, OK, so it's not enough to do an evil laugh and claim that as the day's entry. So what else is there to talk about?

I made spaghetti aglio e olio for dinner. Disgustingly easy...just saute some garlic (I use a LOT of garlic, but that's just 'cause I love it) in extra virgin olive oil until the garlic browns (don't let it go too far, or it'll get bitter). Throw out the garlic, and pour the infused oil over thin spaghetti. Toss with a dash or two of crushed red pepper flakes, top with fresh-grated parmagiano reggiano cheese, and you've got gourmet, baby.

There's nothing on TV on Friday nights...it almost makes me wish I had a sex life. Oh, there's Joan of Arcadia, and that show has much improved over the last few weeks...the start of the season sucked, but it's almost as good as it was last year now. But other than that, Fridays are a pit. I probably should just pop in a movie, but I really don't feel like it tonight.

Somebody on the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire bored asked about songs that nobody else knows today. I threw some Bill Deasy/Gathering Field ("Lost in America" and "The Low Road"), The Clarks ("Cigarette"), and Brownie Mary ("Like I Really Do") at 'em. But then followed up with non-Pittsburgh bands, including Joni Mitchell's "Little Green," Harry Chapin's "Sniper," Lyle Lovett's "Been So Good Up To Now," and Elton John's "Burn Down the Mission." What was really odd was that I wasn't the only one to post "Sniper"...I suppose it's not odd that somebody posted a Chapin song, but the fact that we both mentioned "Sniper" (and posted within a minute or two of each other) was kinda freaky.

And with that....I have fulfilled my daily requirement of drivel.

By request...

2005-01-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

Last night, while playing "Passport" on NTN (we did OK...#15 in the country as a bar, and our high scorer, Bob aka ARRWHD, was Top 10...he lived in Florida for 10 years or so!), I was asked about my LEAST favorite movies, kind of a flip of the list I posted earlier this week of my all-time favorites. I thought that would be an interesting topic for today.

First off, some ground rules I imposed on myself: No sequels allowed, because, with few exceptions (The Godfather Part II being the best exception), sequels by their very nature, suck. This was TRULY limiting, since some of my all-time least favorite movies have been sequels (Rambo III, Lawnmower Man 2, House 2, etc. etc. etc.) All of the movies had to be primarily in English (although there are some spectacularly bad foreign films). And they all had to be bad while trying NOT to be bad...in other words, they had to be earnest in their intention.

Now, there are some famously bad movies, and there's even a terrific book by Harry and Michael Medved about them. Ed Wood was known, for instance, for a couple of the all-time worst ever made (Glenn or Glenda, Plan 9 From Outer Space). But I wanted this list to be of those spectacular failures, not just the merely poorly made.

When Bob asked me this question, I mentioned that there were only a handful of movies I've started to watch and never finished (either because I walked out of the theater, or turned the tape/DVD off and returned it without watching the end). But when I started to compose this list, I found that there were a LOT of movies that actually fit this category...and several that I couldn't actually bring myself to watch. I have limited myself to movies that I've seen at least 15 minutes of.

Without further ado, here are the Top 10 entries in the Killer Tomato Hall of Shame:

Battlefield Earth - I don't know what's worse, John Travolta's completely horrendous acting, the muddled direction, the incomprehensible script, or the truly awful FX. Just a mess. And I hear that Travolta would STILL like to make a sequel.
Glitter - A simply atrocious fictionalized version of Mariah Carey's rise to fame starring...um....Mariah Carey, who couldn't act her way out of a paper bag. Add to this the fact that I don't like her singing either, and...well....it IS #2. In more ways than one.
Howard the Duck - He didn't direct, but George Lucas, as Executive Producer, is really responsible for this incredibly bad comedy/action/sci-fi crap. The duck suit cost something like $2 million, and looks like it was a kid's $20 Halloween costume. And to think this is on Tim Robbins' resume forever...
Kazaam! - Whose brilliant idea was it to give Shaquille O'Neal (the world's largest Irishman) a starring vehicle? Probably the same guy who greenlighted the sorry excuse for a script.
Gigli - Ben Affleck? Check. Jennifer Lopez? Check. A script that calls for Ben to "turn" Jen from her lesbian lifestyle? Check. Hey, wait a sec....What the hell are Christopher Walken and Al Pacino doing in here? Oh...we're going for some semblance of quality....gotcha.
Leonard Part 6 - Nope, I didn't break my rule about sequels....and that's one reason this movie did so poorly at the box office: everyone thought they'd missed the first 5 in the series! But not even Bill Cosby could save this dreck.
Can't Stop the Music - How could this telling of the story of the discovery of the Village People have gone wrong? It had Steve Guttenberg, after all. And Valerie Perrine. And Bruce Jenner. And a script that never uses the word "gay". Oh....wait a sec....yep, those are all good reasons.
Showgirls - Admittedly, this movie does have it's good points. And yes, those "points" are Elizabeth Berkley's tits. And Gina Gershon's, too. Gershon almost saves it from inclusion on this list, by playing a great bisexual stripper...but the pretentious script keeps dragging it down to utter crap.
Bolero - I once read a comment on this movie that said "Bo Derek plays a college graduate and a virgin, and is unconvincing at both." There is absolutely no plot, the dialogue (what there is of it between moans and panting) is utterly sophomoric, and the only redeeming point is the fact that the only character who isn't nude is played by George Kennedy (thanking God for small favors).
Xanadu - I know, you thought my limit on bad musical pop-star vehicles was used up already with Glitter and Can't Stop the Music...but I had to make room for this pathetic attempt to cash in on Grease and Olivia Newton-John, despite a not-so-terrible song score and the presence of Gene Kelly.

And the Dishonorable Mention list: It's Pat!, Hudson Hawk, Baby Geniuses, The Postman, Freddy Got Fingered, From Justin to Kelly, Waterworld, The Color of Night, Ghosts Can't Do It and Wild Wild West.

Another Blah Day in da Burgh

2005-01-05T12:20:00.000-05:00

Rain. And when it's not raining, we've got mist. Then fog. Then more rain.

On the bright side, had a good interview with a consulting company in Las Vegas yesterday, and sent back the application they emailed me this morning. Would have done it last night, but I needed to clear a couple of references (Thanks, Tina and Karen!). I don't think they'll pay as well as my last employer in LV did, but I'm ready to take less, just to be employed again. And I still am hoping to hear from the company in Santa Monica....c'mon phone, RING!

Congrats to Southern Cal on winning the Orange Bowl and National Championship last night. I watched much of the game while at Damon's playing NTN, and was really disappointed in Oklahoma's ineffectiveness...all those turnovers!

Speaking of NTN, last night I was #2 in the country (continent, really, since it includes Canada) at Showdown, with 62,675 points! (my personal best, ever). Had a lot of help from BADJER, but as it was just the two of us, I credit my own self a lot on this one! Had I recognized the opening line to "Charlotte's Web," I'd have had a perfect score....Oh, well. I should just be happy to have done as well as I did.

I also picked up a copy of Green Day's American Idiot last night. Have listened to about 1/2 of it. Great disc, so far. I may drop a full review on here after I've listenend to the whole thing.

While I'm on the subject of music, I guess Bill Deasy's "Good Things Are Happening" isn't being used by Good Morning America anymore. Too bad. I was hoping that he'd get a lot more media attention from that gig...his work is just so impressive, both the solo stuff and what he did with Gathering Field. Lost in America is still my all-time favorite album. Keep up the good work, Bill!

Random Stuff

2005-01-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

Happy National Trivia Day!
I'm concerned I'm being too long-winded, so I'm gonna try to keep my word count down.
Congrats to Auburn on winning the Sugar Bowl! Va. Tech was a lot tougher than I expected. Tonight, I root for Oklahoma.
It's been raining for a couple of days, so what does my moron of a paper-delivery guy (I miss paperboys...) do? Toss my paper - in a VERY flimsy paper condom - into a puddle. I've got Post-Gazette soup.
Being only slightly anally retentive, I've been watching all 300 or so of my DVDs....in alphabetical order. Makes up for not going out to the movies more often (see below). Last night: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Michelle Yeoh kicks ass.
Next up: Dogma. I love Kevin Smith movies.
How cool is it that my friend Steve (from Monroe, NY) is going to be on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire on National Trivia Day?
Seems Jeopardy! is going to do a tournament over 15 weeks(!) to whittle down 150 or so players to see who gets to play Ken Jennings in a 3-day tournament. I finally get a chance to take the test this year, pass it, do what I think is a pretty damn good interview, and they waste 1/3 of their season on this? *SIGH*

Job Searching in a Crappy Economy

2005-01-03T11:35:00.000-05:00

Let's face it, any job search sucks, by definition. But having been out of work for nearly 2 years now, I can say unequivocally that job searching in today's economy is worse than at any time in my lifetime.

I'm an Air Quality Engineer. For over 15 years, I have worked for Environmental Consulting companies. Unfortunately, a Republican-controlled White House and Legislature have been deadly to my search for another job. Adding to that has been my inability to find anything even after 2 years.

In my case, that 2 year lapse is rather misleading. I was forced into a position where I had to move back to my original hometown (after 2 and a half years in sunny, wonderful Las Vegas) to do home health care for my father. Dad had back surgery, and there were complications related to his anesthesia during the operation, resulting in a much, much longer recovery and rehabilitation time. Luckily, Dad's doing much better now; he's back on his feet (literally), able to take stairs and walk with much more confidence now. But that took about a full year or more to get through.

I'm a damn good engineer. I'm sure anyone in my position would do what I did: examine yourself for flaws. What could it be about me that has kept me jobless for so long? Honestly, though, I feel my biggest roadblock has been misperception. The time off, the abrupt departure from my last job (I was downsized after another group in our office was caught misappropriating funds, resulting in a half-million dollar writeoff; about 1/3 of our office was let go. After 2 years, only 2 people who were at my office in Las Vegas still work for the company, out of the 35 who were there the day before Black Friday), and my own lack of self-esteem might be seen to be all my fault, although I feel no qualms about debunking those theories (which, considering that lack of self-esteem is kinda odd, I know!). The fact of the matter is that, for the first 6 months there just weren't ANY jobs in my field. Then there was my time off to help Dad. The market is opening up slightly, now, thank God.

Luckily, I see a light at the end of the tunnel, I hope. I've got two pretty good lines on jobs, both back out West (thank God again!), and I'm even hopeful that both could potentially pan out for me. One is in Southern California (they have offices in Santa Monica and Irvine, CA). I know I'm the best candidate for the job (at least, I'm the best candidate who has actually applied!), and I know they need someone rather quickly. With luck, I'll hear something this week about that one. The other is back in Las Vegas, with a competitor of the company I was working for before. I have the advantage of knowing the people who work there, and them knowing me. I am familiar with the regulatory agencies in the area, and I think the current employees there have a good opinion of me and my skills. But we're just in the early stages of talking, so it's difficult to tell whether I'd get that one.

Which do I want? Well...both have their advantages. Part of me wants the job in Las Vegas, simply because I am familiar with the work, agencies, etc. But another part of me wants the challenge of something new, and the Santa Monica job has that going for it. The downside of this job is that much of it will be related to bringing in new work...hardly my favorite part of my job (and not as big a chunk of the Las Vegas job), plus the cost of living in the LA area is MUCH higher than Las Vegas.

Frankly, I'll be happy with either, and so, constant reader, if you're here, please say a prayer for this poor Veggie, will you? I can use all the karma I can get.

I have no "Best of 2004" movies this year.

2005-01-02T14:10:00.000-05:00

Typically, I like to provide my friends and email-slaves with a "Best of" list of the previous year's movies around this time...but I really can't do that this year. Frankly, I was very lax about seeing new movies in 2004. Partially it was a fiscal move, but also, there just weren't that many movies that appealed to me, frankly. I had no desire to see the so-called epics of Troy or Alexander. Maybe I'm becoming prudish, but Mike Nichols' Closer just seemed like soft-core porn masquerading as high art. And the few movies I did want to see have just opened here in Pittsburgh, which means that I haven't had a chance to see them.

I did want to see Sideways...I like Alexander Payne's work, and Paul Giamatti is one of the best unsung actors of our times. I also haven't had a chance to see The Aviator, a movie I'm looking forward to very much, primarily because Martin Scorsese, no matter how hard he tries (The Age of Innocence, Gangs of New York) just can't make a bad movie. I'm sure this isn't nearly as good as Scorsese at his best (Raging Bull, GoodFellas), but Howard Hughes is an interesting subject, and one I'd like to see.

I'm looking forward to seeing the new Michael Radford version of The Merchant of Venice with Al Pacino as Shylock. Ditto Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby, although I'm not a big fan of Hilary Swank.

Of the few movies I did see in 2004, I can recommend The Incredibles, National Treasure (although it's hokey, it was fun), Kill Bill Vol. 2 and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

OK, so since I can't give a Top 10 list for this year, here's my ALL TIME TOP 10!

The Godfather (including Part II) - Simply put, a masterpiece. Francis Ford Coppola pulls out true, visceral performances from the entire cast, including the bit players. The writing is sharp, inventive (although it's been copied so many times that many of Coppola's and Puzo's innovative structural elements are now considered cliche), and biting. The lighting and cinematography pair perfectly with the beautifully haunting score. If you've never seen The Godfather movies (even including the much lesser, but still compelling Part III), you've never seen a real movie.
Schindler's List - Steven Speilberg's extraordinary, powerful look at the Holocaust makes us see Europe in the 1940s as a personal journey from callousness into hell. Liam Neeson provides the personality, Ben Kingley provides the anchor and heart. Unflinching and beautifully photographed, Schindler's List should be required viewing for everyone at least once in your life. The critical scene where Schindler laments that with just the sale of another pair of cufflinks he could have saved one more life is quite possibly my favorite single scene in any movie, and never fails to make me weep like a little girl.
Psycho - There are days when I think, "Hey, Psycho isn't even HITCHCOCK'S best, what is it doing here?"...but then I remember how innovative and yes, shocking, it is. Killing off your leading lady after just 45 minutes? It had never been done before (and some would say, with good reason!). The shower scene alone makes this movie worthy of the Top 10.
The Lord of the Rings - One must look at all three parts of this movie (Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, and Return of the King) as a whole, of course. And what a whole it is: stunningly photographed (New Zealand really IS Middle Earth!), well-acted and beautifully realized, with a great ensemble cast and dazzling special effects. Peter Jackson's epic truly stands up to that adjective.
Citizen Kane - It's become a de rigeur entry, usually in one of the top two spots of lists like this. I love Kane, but it's no longer in my top 2. Still, Orson Welles did things with lighting, structure, and setting that absolutely defined how movies would come to be made. And he did it all with a cast of complete unknowns - at the time! If you get a chance to listen to Roger Ebert's commentary on the DVD of this movie, do so...he describes it much better than I.
Jaws - Another Speilberg movie, this one redefining "Summer Blockbuster." Even 27 years later, this movie still scares the bejesus out of me, and does it by flouting convention: a monster movie that doesn't show the monster! Plus Roy Scheider is just too cool.
The Exorcist - OK, if we're talking scary movies, this is the granddaddy (followed closely by Richard Donner's The Omen). William Friedkin crafted an atmospheric, misdirection-filled, creepy movie that will make your skin crawl.
The Shawshank Redemption - Frank Darabont's small, gentle prison movie...if that's possible. Helped immeasurably by solid performances by Tim Robbins, Bob Gunton, James Whitmore and especially Morgan Freeman, this movie defines "Hope."
Some Like It Hot - What can I say? This movie makes me laugh. Jack Lemmon can do no wrong (it was really tough to choose between this movie and The Apartment for inclusion on this list...), Tony Curtis is better than he ever was in anything else, ditto Marilyn Monroe, and Joe E. Brown was just priceless.
To Kill a Mockingbird - A minimalist score, fine screenplay, and excellent acting make Robert Mulligan's look at racism and poverty in the South a must-see. Plus, it's nice to bookend my list with Robert Duvall!

Honorable Mention (Call it the Second 10): Seven Samurai, Pulp Fiction, Star Wars, The King and I, Sunset Boulevard, Memento, The Apartment, Kill Bill (including - and perhaps especially - Vol. 2), Casablanca, and The Silence of the Lambs.

(Note: I figured out how to add links, so I went a little nuts...you don't have to follow them all!)

A new year, a new start

2005-01-01T13:00:00.000-05:00

Well, here it is. My first blog entry. Exciting, isn't it? I can tell you're all just tingling with anticipation, wondering what it is this weirdo from Pittsburgh has to say.

I can't promise it'll be anything startling. I can't promise it will be anything profound. Or coherent, for that matter. Let's face it, I just wanted to try out new technology....at least, new to me. I'll try to post something daily, even if it's just a "I have nothing to say today" type post. Chances are, I'm the only one who will actually see any of my posts, and that's OK by me...I'm doing this for me, not anyone else.

That's not to say that I'd be upset if anyone else read this blog...after all, I suppose that's its purpose. Just that I'm not sure my life, my thoughts, my ramblings will be of any use to anyone. Then again, I suppose that's what these things are all about, aren't they? Ramblings, musings...not much really said, not much really intended. C'est la vie.

You can all (both of you!) check out my profile once I get around to creating it. It'll tell you some (but not all...one must try to keep back a LITTLE!) of what I am and who I am. And if you decide to come back and visit, feel free to contribute!